September 2015
While at work today, I called Daddy to tell him about some tires that Jamie had gotten for him. He finally answered, but I could tell I had interrupted something.
I asked him what he was doing and he said, “I’m out on the river putting my nets out.”
My heart sank, because we all have been so nervous for him to get back out on the river, in his boat. “Who is with you?” I asked.
“No one”, he said, “ I don’t need anyone. But I wont do it again. I cant deal with all this at once, chickens and cats and sticks, it’s a mess…...”
I didn’t really understand what he meant, so I hurriedly told him about the tires and got off the phone because the images of him, in a boat, in the fast running river, putting out his nets, fighting chickens or whatever, all while talking to me on the phone, scared me to death.
Just a few minutes later, I called mama while driving home from work.
‘So daddys out fishing, huh?”
“How did you know?”, she asked.
So I told her about our conversation and she was concerned about him being out there and being disoriented, but I assured her that I didn’t think he was because we did talk about the tires and he said he would call Jamie later.
But still the conversation didn’t make a lot of sense. And I remember worrying about Uncle Fred when he was out on the river, especially during storms. And he had been having seizures and heart attacks and then with the headaches. And I know. There just is no stopping them. Although it’s our worst nightmare, something happening to them while out on the river, I know in my heart that almost all of the men in my family would rather go, while out on the river in their boat. While casting those nets or pulling their catch in.
My daddy is 80 years old. Honest to God, just last week, he pulled the transmission out of his truck to put in a new clutch. It was a long job, a hard job, and it was very hot, but he is NOT going to pay someone else to do it when he can do it, and he knows it’s done right. He jacked up every wheel and set it on blocks and installed that darn clutch. It took a couple of weeks because he did take his time but I am still amazed.
The week before, he was out working in the yard and mama was standing at the kitchen sink. When she looked out the window, she saw daddy lying on the ground. It scared her so bad, she picked up the phone to call Dee without even going outside to see if he was ok. She accidentally called me and I was in Little Rock at the time and she knew it. She had meant to call Dee to come over so I told her to hang up, call 911 and I would call Dee.
I know she is terrified of something happening to daddy when she is there by herself. But she went out on the deck and called to him and he yelled back that he was fine. He had fell off the ladder and was just getting his breath back.
He is the example of 80 is the new 70, or even 60 because I know if he needed to, he could still whip my butt. He can out work me, out walk me and is stronger than I ever was. When he had his stroke, his neurologist came into his room to visit him and he checked daddys’ grip and daddy almost put him to his knees. He couldn’t believe that daddy was still that strong, being 80 years old, AND just having had a stroke.
So I know that 80 is just a number. And I know that I cant tie him down. And I know that everyday when I look in the paper, people his age are passing away. And I know when it is time, it will happen and there is nothing I can do to change that, but I wish I could protect him until that time. And I know that’s pretty silly because the last thing he wants is all of these restrictions. It’s very hard when you think that just because someone is at a certain age, they need protecting, molly coddling or whatever you want to call it. I might enjoy that when I reach his age but I can say for certain that HE DON’T!
I asked him what he was doing and he said, “I’m out on the river putting my nets out.”
My heart sank, because we all have been so nervous for him to get back out on the river, in his boat. “Who is with you?” I asked.
“No one”, he said, “ I don’t need anyone. But I wont do it again. I cant deal with all this at once, chickens and cats and sticks, it’s a mess…...”
I didn’t really understand what he meant, so I hurriedly told him about the tires and got off the phone because the images of him, in a boat, in the fast running river, putting out his nets, fighting chickens or whatever, all while talking to me on the phone, scared me to death.
Just a few minutes later, I called mama while driving home from work.
‘So daddys out fishing, huh?”
“How did you know?”, she asked.
So I told her about our conversation and she was concerned about him being out there and being disoriented, but I assured her that I didn’t think he was because we did talk about the tires and he said he would call Jamie later.
But still the conversation didn’t make a lot of sense. And I remember worrying about Uncle Fred when he was out on the river, especially during storms. And he had been having seizures and heart attacks and then with the headaches. And I know. There just is no stopping them. Although it’s our worst nightmare, something happening to them while out on the river, I know in my heart that almost all of the men in my family would rather go, while out on the river in their boat. While casting those nets or pulling their catch in.
My daddy is 80 years old. Honest to God, just last week, he pulled the transmission out of his truck to put in a new clutch. It was a long job, a hard job, and it was very hot, but he is NOT going to pay someone else to do it when he can do it, and he knows it’s done right. He jacked up every wheel and set it on blocks and installed that darn clutch. It took a couple of weeks because he did take his time but I am still amazed.
The week before, he was out working in the yard and mama was standing at the kitchen sink. When she looked out the window, she saw daddy lying on the ground. It scared her so bad, she picked up the phone to call Dee without even going outside to see if he was ok. She accidentally called me and I was in Little Rock at the time and she knew it. She had meant to call Dee to come over so I told her to hang up, call 911 and I would call Dee.
I know she is terrified of something happening to daddy when she is there by herself. But she went out on the deck and called to him and he yelled back that he was fine. He had fell off the ladder and was just getting his breath back.
He is the example of 80 is the new 70, or even 60 because I know if he needed to, he could still whip my butt. He can out work me, out walk me and is stronger than I ever was. When he had his stroke, his neurologist came into his room to visit him and he checked daddys’ grip and daddy almost put him to his knees. He couldn’t believe that daddy was still that strong, being 80 years old, AND just having had a stroke.
So I know that 80 is just a number. And I know that I cant tie him down. And I know that everyday when I look in the paper, people his age are passing away. And I know when it is time, it will happen and there is nothing I can do to change that, but I wish I could protect him until that time. And I know that’s pretty silly because the last thing he wants is all of these restrictions. It’s very hard when you think that just because someone is at a certain age, they need protecting, molly coddling or whatever you want to call it. I might enjoy that when I reach his age but I can say for certain that HE DON’T!
Then I stopped at Walmart to pick up a few things and as I was getting out of my car, an old man (80+?) had stopped behind my car and looked like he was lost. I asked him if was looking for his car and he said that he was. So as we were walking around the parking lot, I asked what kind of car he drove and he said a Buick. So I asked if it was a Verano or a Lucerne and he answered no. “It’s a ….” He said. “An SUV”, I asked. And he said, ‘Yes, an SUV.”
“So”, I asked, “is it an Enclave, or a Rendezvous, or an Encore?”
“No, no, it’s a Terra or something…” not finishing his sentence. I don’t know if I was annoying him or helping him, but my intentions were good.
“Oh, a Terrain? That’s a GMC. That’s what I am driving. What color is it? “
“Silver”
“Oh, is that your car parked right in front of me.”
Well, it was and as he walked over to it, I walked on inside. I was thinking about how disoriented he was and it was a little disconcerting, but there was nothing I could do about it. So I finished my shopping, all of 10 minutes, and as I walked out the door, I could see that his car was still there. And just as I got to my car, he started backing up and as a truck waited to get his parking place, he continued to back up a lot further than he needed to and he hit the truck! He put his car in park and he got out of his car as a young girl got out of the passenger side of the truck and he looked at her and said ”Well, whats the matter?” And she laughed and shook her head as he got in his car and left.
They pulled on into the parking place and the driver, a woman, was a little shook up that it may have been her fault because she was behind him as he backed up, but I assured her that he was already a little disoriented and as it hadn’t done any damage to either vehicle, she shouldn’t worry about it.
And of course that got me to thinking.
When you get disoriented like that, does it just suddenly come on you? And if so, is there an age that this begins to happen? Is there something that brings this on? Or is a slow process that occurs little by little getting worse each time?
If it were my say, I would say that he doesn’t need to be driving. And I know a few others that shouldn’t either. But then who am I to make that judgment? When do I want my kids to pull my keys? I am a good driver but I have had a few fender benders that were my fault. And I have missed my turns and had to go to the next exit down the interstate to turn around. I have also ran a few red lights in the middle of a conversation. So when do I need to stop driving?
Who makes that call? And when do they make it? And what if that man doesn’t have anyone to make that call? Is he just an accident waiting to happen?
I don’t know if I will know when I need to but I pray that I will be understanding and give in gracefully to the powers that will be making that decision for me. And I hope they do it BEFORE I hurt someone. Just not anytime soon……..
“So”, I asked, “is it an Enclave, or a Rendezvous, or an Encore?”
“No, no, it’s a Terra or something…” not finishing his sentence. I don’t know if I was annoying him or helping him, but my intentions were good.
“Oh, a Terrain? That’s a GMC. That’s what I am driving. What color is it? “
“Silver”
“Oh, is that your car parked right in front of me.”
Well, it was and as he walked over to it, I walked on inside. I was thinking about how disoriented he was and it was a little disconcerting, but there was nothing I could do about it. So I finished my shopping, all of 10 minutes, and as I walked out the door, I could see that his car was still there. And just as I got to my car, he started backing up and as a truck waited to get his parking place, he continued to back up a lot further than he needed to and he hit the truck! He put his car in park and he got out of his car as a young girl got out of the passenger side of the truck and he looked at her and said ”Well, whats the matter?” And she laughed and shook her head as he got in his car and left.
They pulled on into the parking place and the driver, a woman, was a little shook up that it may have been her fault because she was behind him as he backed up, but I assured her that he was already a little disoriented and as it hadn’t done any damage to either vehicle, she shouldn’t worry about it.
And of course that got me to thinking.
When you get disoriented like that, does it just suddenly come on you? And if so, is there an age that this begins to happen? Is there something that brings this on? Or is a slow process that occurs little by little getting worse each time?
If it were my say, I would say that he doesn’t need to be driving. And I know a few others that shouldn’t either. But then who am I to make that judgment? When do I want my kids to pull my keys? I am a good driver but I have had a few fender benders that were my fault. And I have missed my turns and had to go to the next exit down the interstate to turn around. I have also ran a few red lights in the middle of a conversation. So when do I need to stop driving?
Who makes that call? And when do they make it? And what if that man doesn’t have anyone to make that call? Is he just an accident waiting to happen?
I don’t know if I will know when I need to but I pray that I will be understanding and give in gracefully to the powers that will be making that decision for me. And I hope they do it BEFORE I hurt someone. Just not anytime soon……..
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